Coaching Skills Training: How to listen effectively

By: Matt Somers

In previous articles I've examined the importance of coaches asking well formed questions. The best coaching questions produce an insightful response but we must listen actively too if we're to encourage the coachee to really think deeply.

Listening happens at 3 levels:

Active

Conversational

Superficial

The bottom level, Superficial, is what we do when we're hearing but not listening. We might have a conversation at a party trying to take an interest in what another guest is saying but really having our attention elsewhere, perhaps on some other conversation we suspect would be far more interesting.

The problem is that we are only hearing what the other guest is saying, not listening, so we often get confused, lose track of the conversation or end up having to ask them to repeat what they just said.

This would be extremely damaging in a coaching conversation. People instinctively know if we're only listening to them superficially. The fact that our mind is elsewhere will be revealed in our body language. This will destroy any trust in the coaching relationship and make it unlikely that the coaching will result in any useful outcome.

The second level, conversational, is the type of listening that we do throughout the day. In conversational listening, we listen while our partners talk and vice versa. However the danger here is that while the other person is talking, we are concentrating on making our next point, rather than truly focusing on what the other person is saying.

This is not an easy thing to do when we start out as coaches. When you're not used to this approach, it can be hard to keep the questions flowing. It's usually better to wait until the person has finished speaking and then decide upon the next question.

We should also avoid the habit of finsihing other people's sentences for them. Invariably we do not pick the words they would have chosen for themselves and all we've ended up doing is disrupting the flow of their thinking and making them feel hurried.

So we need to work hard to reach the top level, Active Listening. Put simply active listening is about clearing our minds of all other distractions and really tuning in to what the other person is saying with as much focus as we can muster. This is easier said than done and takes a lot of time and practise to develop but is well worth the effort.

On a practical level it means we should try not to coach when we're in a hurry or preoccupied with something else. Neither should we run a coaching session in a noisy environment or one that is likely to get to hot or too cold. In such circumstances it is imposssible to actively listen.

Article Source: http://www.bigfreearticles.com

Coaches put a great amount of effort into asking useful questions. Unfortuantely such efforts can be in vain if we fail to listen just as effectively. This article considers different levels of listening and their effect on a coaching conversation.

About the Author:
Matt Somers is a coaching practitioner of many years' experience. He works with a host of clients in North East England where his firm is based and throughout the UK and Europe. Matt understands that people are working with their true potential locked away. He shows how coaching provides a simple yet elegant key to this lock. His popular mini-guide "Coaching for an Easier Life" is available FREE at http://www.mattsomers.com

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